i cry baby

i live with a monster! in one week this will be a 4 yr old monster.

turtle tuck

there was a really awesome lady at the hospital today.

she was cheery for someone who was doomed with the big C. she was a shining star of cheer---

even if she had been a person not doomed with anything.

i found out later, after i already liked her, that she was one of those people that go door-to-door trying to spread you their religion. they stand around the subways with their paper pamphlets.

one of those people? my new friend? it really cracked my head open. i don't want to talk about that with her, i mean, i just feel like that would be torture for me to have a conversation about religion with her. but at the same time, i realize that i have a lot of closed minded biases and i should really work on that.

the other thing i noticed, that was painful, was that the cheery religious lady was surrounded by people and support. and that's something that i think is hard to look at.

you know what i'm talking about?

i'm talking about the gaping hole!

purse

i gave a lady a shower today. she was a freaking trooper. i feel terrible about the shitty care that people get at hospitals. the patients feel like a nuisance and go days with out being seriously tended to or getting a hot shower. she didn't want to bother me with getting lotion for her, and i said woman! i said woman! i ain't got nothin to do no how woman!

and i keep thinking of this lady and wanting to go visit her and hug her. which is weird because there's plenty of things for me to do, that's not really the priority, but she's haunting my mind. i think it's because she has this seriousness about her. she looks like a russian peasant that survived the KGB.... and...

being shoeless in the snow...

and waiting at the end of the longest line for some bread. for just a smell of some bread because it will all be gone by the time she gets there.

ashwaubenon

the peanut boy went to get a haircut. NOT PICTURED HERE! it looks super duper great. and it's all thanks to his father! no thanks to me. i don't do much around the family these days. the peanut boy had a good time because they put him in a little train and turned on a movie. wowzers.

he looks like an entirely different person. it's weird.

grandma sent him these funny little mitten-gloves. these little gloves that make his hands look like huge man hands. it's the craziest thing watching him shoot up like a weed.

it makes me feel weird inside.

time started moving really fast about half way thru my 20's. moving to nyc doubled that speed. having a little dude quadrupled it.

the months feel like weeks.

the years feel like months.

richy rich

i have this t-shirt. some people saw me wearing it and they said "what's that?". i said "you know richard prince? he made it!". they said "who?". i was like WOAHHH! he's a famous artist. haha.

whatever.

they liked it and now it's the poster for a new elbow comedy show in w'burg.

check it!!!!

elbow

discomfort

this is a picture i took at a bar. back in baltimore when i had my big adventure last weekend. it was a picture to somehow document that i went to a bar. to prove it! i don't like going out, socializing, parties, talking to people, talking to strangers, all those things are extremely painful for me. but pain is life! pain is educational!

at yoga today the teacher said we were going to try something hard for 60 seconds. i was like NO PROBLEM. she said that when you feel discomfort you have to breath 2 times before giving up. it "trains the body to stop giving up immediately just because you have a bit of pain". i said NO PROBLEM. then we contorted. i was totally cool. then she said "HALF WAY THRU GUYS!". and i immediately caved!!!! right away! i don't think i even remembered to do the breathing exercise she said to do! i was like "only half way?!" sudden pain, immediate giving up.

oh all these life lessons.

oooooooooh

found these rad pics on 'ambitious project collapsing'

class act

wowie zowie! my little man has been a naughty monkey lately. it's hard! sometimes i'm so patient because i missed him after being at school so much. other times i feel so tired and crabby i want to scream.

how ya like these paintings right here? i love em! my gal pal has talent coming out the ears!

i was going to tell ya something and then i fucking forgot. oh man!

beyonce's baby

beyonce had a baby!
in a hospital!
this is the view from one of the rooms in her hospital.

(i heard she took over an entire floor!)

today was the first day since we started school in september that i had an awesome learning day.
an awesome experience!
finally!
it happened!
the nurse was amazing. the teacher was amazing. it was CALM.
no one was screaming at me.
we weren't rushing around stressed out.
is that so much to hope for?
yikes.
i can't learn with all the screaming and stressing.
maybe that's too much to ask for and i'm fudged for life.

and look at this noise !
that's me being a kick ass kicking kicker!
keeping up with my little dude is so hard, i had to start working out again finally.
it's only been 2 months but the change every day is astounding.
especially this last week it's like things are kicking in.

cross you fingas for me!

stretching in the yurt

these kids here...
up above here...
they were the sweetest couple of cuties. i hope we see them again.
i hate making best friend soul mates only to never see them again.
it's heart breakin'.

this dirt up here...
up above here...
this is a bit of dirt.
a patch of it... a patch that isn't my favorite!!!!!

"we left the fun times of wisconsin to come back to this shit dump? are you kidding me?"

that's what i think, in my head, sometimes.

there's pros and there's cons.

that's the truth.

moving furniture

this is my friend's new room in baltimore city.
she moved there just now!
from washington dc.
she said it rules.
it's working class.
going back to the roots.
she still goes to washington everyday for her job!
i learned so much spending the weekend and being a semi fly on the wall of someone else's life.
do you ever feel like you are dreaming?
i feel that way a lot lately.

tween-ager

this is what 11 year old girls in bushwick look like. it's unbelievable.