muffins

axel talks funny! he is 3 and a half.

he says "dabwannas" instead of bananas. i try not to worry about it. so what if it means that my accent makes it sound like that and yet i never knew! so what if i'm teaching him to talk crazy but i didn't even realize it! do i say "da banana" instead of "the banana"? geez louize i hope not. i wouldn't put it past me.

while riding my bike i was worrying about getting run over. i was thinking about those skiiers that hit trees and get their brain full of blood and then they walk around for a few hours before keeling over in death. it's like a hilarious god prank! they walk around as if there's nothing wrong. they say, "boy that hurt!". then they take a little nap and never wake up.

when axel falls down it looks bad. i don't know if it LOOKS as bad as a skiing accident. i would have to have them shown to me side by side at once. at the play ground. to properly judge. the thing with axel hitting the concrete is that... well...

for example you would never ever lay down on the ground and decide "i know! i think i will head butt the pavement! with all of my might! just smash and bash my forehead right here on this rock hard surface!".

i don't think your body would allow you to do that. not on purpose. but inadvertently axel does this. quite frequently.

it helps me to pretend that there is no life, there is no death, we are all just dreaming, and really ACTUALLY really.... we are just a piece of atom in the unified field.